JODI BEAN, CMHC
It seems to me that one of life’s greatest privileges is just that—the experience of being held in someone’s mind. Possibly, though there is one exception—and that is the privilege of holding another in one’s own (Pawl, 2002).
Who Am I?
I am a mental health counselor that has found a passion studying and understanding human connectedness especially as it is related to early childhood experiences and care-giving relationships.
What is this site?
The goal of this space is to provide information that will offer insight, and ideas about strengthening connections.
VITAL PARTS OF CONNECTION
Proximity
Contingency
Contingency
John Bowlby wrote extensively on the importance of a caregiver being accessible, and close to provide protection, and comfort for an infant. This is the idea that the other will be available both physically, and psychologically; held in arms, and then later, in mind. This type of closeness persists through our lifetimes.
Contingency
Contingency
Contingency
is the idea that when we have a need, it will be seen, and met. For example, an infant alerts a caregiver that they need to be held, and the caregiver picks them up. As opposed to a caregiver that picks up an infant when they feel like it, regardless of the child's needs. Or suppose you are in a conversation with someone and you share tha
is the idea that when we have a need, it will be seen, and met. For example, an infant alerts a caregiver that they need to be held, and the caregiver picks them up. As opposed to a caregiver that picks up an infant when they feel like it, regardless of the child's needs. Or suppose you are in a conversation with someone and you share that you have had a really bad day, and they respond by saying something about the weather. Each are giving a response, but it isn't matching the need.
Constancy
Contingency
Constancy
providing proximity, and contingency builds trust and sense of security when it is consistently provided. This does not mean that we have to be perfectly present, attuned, and responsive. According to Beebe, it requires a "mid-range" which means not too withdrawn, nor too instrusive, and Winnicott describes it as "good enough". The idea
providing proximity, and contingency builds trust and sense of security when it is consistently provided. This does not mean that we have to be perfectly present, attuned, and responsive. According to Beebe, it requires a "mid-range" which means not too withdrawn, nor too instrusive, and Winnicott describes it as "good enough". The idea of constancy is that objects continue to exist as trustworthy, and consistent even when they cannot be seen or touched in some way.